Reflections of life

Been "years" since I posted my last post and I can sadly say that life is getting meaningless.. Always at a point of stage, we all should look back and reflect on our life and see what went right and where went wrong..

For my own, its really going in the wrong direction.. As most of you should know, I am 23 this year.. Living as the youngest of 4 siblings is not a blessing as most of you might think of it to be.. When I was born, I have a gap of 12 years with my before-me brother and a 18 years gap with eldest sister.. Growing up in such a family made me mature faster and learnt to see the world in another perspective.. I never understand the way others lead their life.. By the age of 14, I am left alone to explore the world of adolescence.. The friends I made along the way was of the same mindset, everyone was of the same mindset.. Till a younger generation came in.. I remembered the first day of school when I was Sec 4.. The moment I walked into school, I saw Sec 1 playing "Catching".. I was like.. What's the world becoming! As the day goes by, they became more childish and playful, and soon the lower sec seems to become primary school students..

When I was in sec 1, the popular stuff to do was magic-card games, basketball, board games, computer games, actively in CCA.. Never was there any act of childish mischief, nor "catching". Soon I discover that those who are born at 90's have this generation gap with the 80's.

Anyway, lets side track a little. The reason why I am writing this post s due to a Facebook video i saw from a friend of mine. Its done by a guy who spend 30 years on games and now he is under achieving and divorced. This lead to me to think of the times I spent on Tv and maplestory. In his video, he mentioned stuff like.. what's the point of getting to level 80 in a game.. if you take the time you spend there and make use of it by spending more time with friends, family and exercise, we would be different.. Its true how technology has taken over our life, how facebook have changed the life of everyone around us.. Back in my days, there was only MIRC and Friendster which was just a page and a chat room for use to get to socialise.. It was not as addictive as Facebook.. Facebook has become a addiction to most people, commenting.. posting pictures.. playing the games there.. chatting there.. but once again, back to the ultimate question.. what do you benefit from it after all the "fun"? When you are 60, will you remember what you commented today? I used to watch a lot of tv too.. Chasing drama night after night.. then one day, I went for a camp with lasted 3 days 2 nights.. and ever since then.. I forgot what is tv.. Why are the people of today chasing after tv, facebook and games? I really wish to get out of this vicious cycle but how can I motivate myself when I turn to my left and right, I see everyone doing the same old thing!

haiz.. kicking myself is not going to working.. its an addiction we all have to put an end to it..

First Day..

hmm.. Today is a Sunday.. Went to work.. Super slow day.. But well, no matter how slow it is, it still will come to an end..

A lot is happening and am feeling so trapped in it.. Taking a break was never an ideal plan for me.. Nothing will be solved at the end of the week.. Just making me feel like breaking off all communication since you do not even feel like communicating, then I shall not put in the effort to.. Just have this feeling that at the end of the break, things will become very bad.. But once again, you are prepared for it more than you are trying to make things better..

Sometimes, we just know the path we would all end up with.. but the attachment we have now, just stop us from walking onto the path.. Maybe at the end of our break, I will be ready to walk the path which I already should have walked long time ago.. Since now, I no longer feel that you are walking on the same path with me.. I am getting ready to walk the path of mine..

Anyway, did not do my school stuff again.. another less day to work harder..

Kick myself again..

Newest Goal --> EAT, EXERCISE, SLEEP!

What is love?

What is love?

October 23rd, 2007 by bronson

LoVe is a four letter word, that can mean so much..

To love someone, it can be a wonderful feeling.. if it is true love.

A false love.. is just something we go through so that we won’t feel alone, or want to believe so that we can feel secure.

To be told by someone that they love you, can be one of the best feelings in the world.

And to love that same person back, is an even greater feeling.

But still, what exactly is love?

Is it just a feeling or emotion.. or just a infectious disease that everyone wants to have a part of.

No one can really give a meaning to it.

Because everyone feels it in a different way.

But still everyone searches for answers and meanings.. Am I in love? How do I know?

It starts of as a feeling, an affection towards someone, someone you think of constantly and would do anything for. Someone you know you can trust and will respect you for who you are.

Honesty is a strong quality of love, because if there is already a flaw, this strong bond already has a weakness. It’s still not too late to mend it. So this is where trust comes in. Once you are able to trust one another, you have overcome a big obstancle in your relationship.

Love isn’t just about serious feeling, or thoughts. its also about commitment and friendship, good times and laughter. To be happy is also another great feeling, which everyone needs to experience one in a while.

You are only able to love someone when you can see past their imperfections, and see deep into their heart and personality.. seeing them as they really are, only comes from getting to know them.. so love at first sight is that really possible?

I think loving someone at first sight is just falling in love with their looks, it’s only once you really get to know them, you will then discover so much more than you can ever imagine.

Love makes your heart skip a beat, everytime you feel their persence, love is what you feel, when just by looking at them you know theres something wrong and woud do anything to help, love is when you truly feel connected and respected, and know you will always be there for each other.

Everyone needs to feel loved, because that’s what makes the world a better place.

So what is love again???

-[B]ronson-

Facts about our lives..

Paradox of Our Times

October 15th, 2007 by bronson

Today we have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time;

We have more degrees, but less common sense; more knowledge, but less judgment;

We have more experts, but more problems; more medicines, but less wellness.

We spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get to angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too often, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too little and lie too often.

We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life; we’ve added years to life, not life to years.

We have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints.

We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less.

We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbour.

We’ve conquered outer space, but not inner space. We’ve split the atom, but not our prejudice; we write more, but learn less; plan more but accomplish less.

We’ve learned to rush, but not wait; we have higher incomes, but lower morals.

We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies, but have less communication. We are long on quantity, but short on quality.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; tall men and short character; steep profits and shallow relationships.

More leisure and less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition; two incomes, but more divorce; fancier houses, but broken homes.

That’s why I propose, that as of today, you do not keep anything for a special occasion, but every day that you live is a special occasion.

Search for knowledge, read more, sit on your front porch and admire the view without paying attention to your needs.

Spend more time with your family and friends, eat your favorite foods, and visit the places you love.

Life is a chain of moment of enjoyment, not only about survival. Use your crystal goblets. Do not save your best perfume, and use it every time you feel you want it.

Remove from your vocabulary phrases like "one of these days" and "someday". Let’s write that letter we thought of writing "one of these days".

Let’s tell our families and friends how much we love them. Do not delay anything that adds laughter and joy to your life.

Every day, every hours, and every minute is special. And you don’t know if it will be your last.

One of my all time favourites

The Salty Coffee

October 10th, 2007 by bronson

He met her on a party; she was so outstanding, had many guys chasing after her, while he was so normal, nobody paid attention to him. At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised, but due to politeness, she promised. They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, she thought, please, let me back home. Suddenly he asked the waiter: would you please give me some salt? I’d like to put it in my coffee.

Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but, still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him curiously: why you have this hobby? He replied: when I was a little boy, I was living near the sea, I like playing in the sea, I could felt the taste of the sea, salty and bite, just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I will think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much, I miss my parents who still living there. Saying that, tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched. That’s his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart.

"A man who can tell out his homesick, he must be a man loves home, cares about home, has responsibility of home," she thought. Then she also started to talk, talked about her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family. That was a really nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story. They continue to date. She found actually he was a man who meets all her demands: he was tolerance, kind hearted, warm, careful…he was such a good guy but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty coffee!

Then the story was just like every beautiful love story: the princess married to the prince, then they were living the happy life…And, every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee, as she knew that’s the way he liked.

After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said: "My dearest, please forgive me, forgive my whole life lie. This was the only lie I said to you, the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt. It’s hard for me to change so I just go ahead. I never thought that could be the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything.. Now I’m dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth: I don’t like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste.. but I have the salty coffee for my whole life since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life.

If I can live for the second time, I still want to know you and have you as my whole life wife, even though I have to drink the salty coffee again."

Her tears made the letter totally wet. Someday, someone asked her: What’s the taste of salty coffee?

It’s sweet. She replied.

Stories to share.. More coming up..

Unconditional Love

October 6th, 2007 by bronson

A story was told about a soldier who was finally coming home after having fought in the Vietnam War. He called his parents from camp.

Mom and Dad, I’m coming home, but I’ve a favor to ask. I have a friend I’d like to bring home with me."

"Sure," they replied, "we’d love to meet him."

"There’s something you should know the son continued, "he was hurt pretty badly in the fighting. He stepped on a land mind and lost an arm and a leg. He has nowhere else to go, and I want him to come live with us."

"I’m sorry to hear that, son. Maybe we can help him find somewhere to live." "No, Mom and Dad, I want him to live with us."

"Son," said the father, "you don’t know what you’re asking. Someone with such a handicap would be a terrible burden on us. We have our own lives to live, and we can’t let something like this interfere with our lives. I think you should just come home and forget about this guy. He’ll find a way to live on his own."

At that point, the son hung up the phone. The parents heard nothing more from him. A few days later, however, they received a call from the police. Their son had died after falling from a building, they were told. The police believed it was suicide. The grief-stricken parents flew over and were taken to the city morgue to identify the body of their son. They recognized him, but to their horror they also discovered something they didn’t know, their son had only one arm and one leg.

The parents in this story are like many of us. We find it easy to love those who are good-looking or fun to have around, but we don’t like people who inconvenience us or make us feel uncomfortable. We would rather stay away from people who aren’t as healthy, beautiful, or smart as we are. Thankfully, there’s someone who won’t treat us that way. Someone who loves us with an unconditional love that welcomes us into the forever family, regardless of how messed up we are.

Remember to give unconditional love to others and accept their flaws, as no one is perfect in this world. ~ Bronson

These are the reasons why i started to blog

Little Stories Will Help You To See The Big Picture..

October 1st, 2007 by bronson

A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a
successful marriage. Could you please share with me our secret?" The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticise your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you."

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A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction
site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted,"Hi, Emily!
Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered,"You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you."
we always forget mutual respect and courtesy

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A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck.

The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy’s hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital.

Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy’s hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, " Daddy,I’m sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?"

Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can’t. Too often we fail to recognise the difference between the person and the performance.

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A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home,a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey?"Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.
Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is nogentleman."

The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey.
Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.

It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.

Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience
is clear..

My very first post, 1st Oct 2007

Back To Basics, A Reminder To All

October 1st, 2007 by bronson

All relationships experience conflict, be it, marriages, friendships or even family. But there are too many unfortunate souls, whom seem to be unable to resolve their differences. Their relationship eventually dries up, becomes brittle and breaks apart like dried twigs. Once seemed to be a work of art eventually becomes a near-impossible task to restore the peace and harmony.

Little does many know, the incidents that truly destroy a relationship are usually small and insignificant! It is not the momentous decisions and huge obstacles that pull people apart. But it is the little problems, the insignificant stressors, which do the most damage.

“In a relationship, two brave together as one, unite during tough times but they often fall when trivial issues are in their way.”
- Bronson

Many of us had forgotten what is important! Relationships are built based on love, respect, consideration, kindness, and understanding and all those compelling and wonderful reasons that brought people together in the first place. Instead, they let minor inconveniences become major issues. Sometimes they forgot the basics and thus, a high price is normally paid for their forgetfulness.

Remember that the people of your life are more valuable than the things.

Remember that there’s a difference between inconveniences and hardships.

Remember that the "little things," if left unattended, can hurt a relationship as much as the big ones.

And remember that love between individuals — friends or family — is the most precious possession we humans can hope to attain.

It’s basic. But it’s the stuff of happy lives.
– Steve Goodier

95 days since my last post..

hmm.. was really hoping for a super happy day to start this post.. but to disappoint you, its not anything happy..

as many should know that i am so freaking busy with school.. motivation level getting lower and lower as each day passes.. having this super low feeling that psychology isnt something i truly wanted to do after all.. am just going with the flow since i have started it.. my exam is in 10 days time, and i haven even started with it.. haiz.. been trying to relive the dream of being a psychologist but the process is just too tedious.. really hope to find that motivation and do well..

I remembered when i was about 9-10 years old, i attended this workshop.. It was all about values and morals, the conductor was a psychologist with a very strong belief that one can influence the future even though one is limited.. I believed his theory of changing the whole even when you are the only one trying.. This was exactly the reason why i wanted to be a psychologist.. cause i wan to understand humans and help them to become a better person.. but as most should know, our world was built in a way which reject changes.. everyone would prefer to live the "happy" life they are in, instead of constantly searching for the better.. only a handful of person are always reflecting on their life from time to time and point to point, and always in search for a better person in them..

In short, one would choose to live the life of a majority and the other would choose to live the life of a minority..

For me, I had came across people who are living in the life of the majority; frens who pursue life enjoyment and not life lessons.. and when you try to help them to become a better person, they reject your kindness.. I am fortunate to meet some frens who are also on the same path with me, seeking a better life; spiritually and physically.. They shared important lessons with me which made realised alot more.. During my time in national service, I met 2 of such.. A buddy during my basic medic course, who shared his life experiences and beliefs.. We always talked about what is right and wrong and how we can improve further and beyond our limits.. The other one, a medic of mine when i was a in charge, shared his beliefs and view with me, making me realise so much, which i think no one else in this whole can ever influence me in the way he did..

But like i said, there are only a handful of them.. through out my 23 years of life, i only met 1.. 3.. 5.. 6.. 7.. maybe 10 of such people.. We all believed that there are so much more we can do with our life and we should not just waste it on life enjoyment.. I remembered once, i didnt really watched tv for a year and devoted a lot time into reading, exercising and paying attention to the world around me and I realised that everyone is doing the same everyday.. The majority people would call it life and accepted the fact that it is like that, and end up waking up at 7-8 am, trying to rush to work, having lunch break, work more, rush home.. tv, computer and slp.. and its another day.. Doing this and that all over again, hoping to get a good salary and a fat bonus at the end of the year.. but is this really the life u wan? if you are thinking that this is how the world work, then you are blinded.. What we really need in life is, food water and air.. food can be grown and not bought, water can be collected and air is free.. Then you might say that it is not possible for it to happen in the modern world anymore.. but my question to you is, whats stopping you? Whats stopping you from achieving what you really wanted?

But once again, when you see so much and feel so much with the world and realised that there are only so few people you can truly talk to, it is quite meaningless.. I am trying to be a majority, trying to live life as it is.. trying to not change what cannot be changed.. going with the flow.. But i realised that this isnt what i wanted..

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I have been thinking, why do people break up even after years of relationship? is it because they gave up? today, i had this answer in me.. it is not because they gave up, it is because they realised only after so many years that you can never build a relationship with the person wrong person.. frankly, most of us fell in love because of appearance and a feeling which was not true.. and when they are in a relationship, the appearance became less important and the feeling became lost.. but i like i said, it was never really there.. most people would spend alot of time finding the feeling they had together.. some created it while others end up on their separate path.. for those who cant create the feeling and managed to stay together? they accepted each other as who they truly are..

Frankly, I will fell in love based on first sight.. then, character.. followed by the innate personality and eventually the understanding and beliefs we share.. sometimes, i really wish to talk to a person who i can talk to, and not be quiet.. someone who can understand and agree with my views, if not agree, influence me with a better one.. someone who can motivate me and keep me on track.. i know its hard to find such a person.. maybe some has yet seen the truth or had accepted as it is..

Belonging to two different world makes things very difficult.. the majority do not understand the minority.. the minority understands the majority but does not understand why they would choose to remain in their situation even when help is offered..

If you can see this differences, you will understand why i always say i understand and why i chose not to interfere any more even though its making me lose a part of me.. And all this would summarize why everything been going the wrong way..

When you had tried almost everything, and nothing changes, the only thing left to do is to join in..

hmm.. missing u.. but guess today just isnt our day..

Today is the 1, 2, 3 , 4.. 3.. no no, 4th 1/2 days you abandoned me in Singapore!

Woke up like ... forgot le.. anyway went to school today to do payment for student protection insurance then met my brothers and the web designer/developer, Sean, to talk about the tuition agency. As mentioned by him, it is quite a big project. haha. 10k project. but in order to succeed, you got to learn how to measure risk and be brave!

Anyway, the thing i wanna say is not this! I feel so not use to you being around. On the way to school, I took out my phone and guess what! I almost sms you.. haha.. Its like a natural reaction.. HURRY UP COME HOME TO 5.. erm.. Singapore.. haha.. Thought you away, I will sleep early! End up sleeping later than usual.. haha.. now already 530a.m. le.. haha..

Anyway soon u coming back le.. can see u le! then we go our honeymoon le! Yippy! haha..

Anyway must say sorry for what happen just now.. Ok I forgive you, cause i know u will say sorry de.. haha! Hope you are sleeping and dreaming of me!

CANT WAIT FOR YOU TO RETURN BACK INTO MY ARMS!

Be^2